


Can't Be Friends

by EAS1928



Series: Music to My Ears [1]
Category: Political RPF - US 21st c., Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 21:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18169835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EAS1928/pseuds/EAS1928
Summary: They try to navigate their attraction while maintaining their friendship.





	Can't Be Friends

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to start a one shot series of montages. I hear a lot of music that inspires me to write so I will periodically write and post here.

It is no question that she saw me and just like all the other times in the last two months she’s done everything to avoid me. My heart falls into my feet as it become s  evident that what we had is over. I’m not sure who to blame, but it hurts. This is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. 

Two Months Ago

_ I  _ _ can’t _ _  help but to watch her as she sleeps peacefully. Her arm thrown over her head, her breath coming out in slow steady puffs. Every now and then a sigh of contentment escapes her perfect mouth.  _ _ I’m _ _  not supposed to be doing this, I’m supposed to be counting the hours until  _ _ she is out of my bed and back to being just my friend. Hillary _ _  and I have been hurling towards this very moment for over a year. The attraction between us has been palpable. _ _  Although we just kept telling ourselves we were just friends we both knew differently.  _ _ It’s _ _  not like I’ve never had a fling before even with a girl I called a friend _ _ , but despite myself I know that this time is different. _

_ She stirs in her sleep and slowly opens her gorgeous blue eyes. She sits up and looks at me. _

_ “What time is it?”  _ _ h _ _ er voice is rough from sleep. I take a quick peak over at the clock on the nightstand. _

_ “3:30”  _ _ s _ _ he nods. _

_ “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I guess I better get going” I panic momentarily. She goes to slip from my bed and I grab her hand. She looks back at me confused. I know why,  _ _ I’d _ _  made it explicitly clear that this was just a one-night stand, that we would get it out of our system an _ _ d go back to being just friends. _

_ “Don’t go.” I say softly our eyes locked on each other. She nods and settles back underneath the covers. I want so badly to hold her, but  _ _ I’m _ _  not sure how she will feel. It was after all my idea that  _ _ we could do this without _ _  feelings  _ _ getting _ _  involved. We stare at each other for a bit before both of us start to feel the heavy weight of sleep pressing down on us. We say our good nights and fall asleep. _

The Present

I have to move on although I think about her every waking moment. After being together a few more times she abruptly cut everything off and said she just wanted to be friends. I inwardly scoff at the thought. 

I highly doubt friends do the things we did with and to each other. Like so many other days I feel the reaction in my pants from my thoughts of Hillary. My heartbeat picks up and I wipe the beads of sweat from my forehead.  I’m  miserable I’m in love with my former best friend and no matter what I do or say I can’t get her to come back. She says  she’s  happy with her relationship. My face frowns at the thought of her with another. What does he have that I  don’t  is a running commentary in my head. 

My stomach growls and like many times in the past few months I ignore it. I  don’t  have much of a desire to eat or do anything. My only desire is to have Hillary and  she’s  decided I’m no longer worthy. 

**_Look what this girl done did to me,_  **   
**_ She done cut me off from a good, good love. _ **

**_She told me that those days were gone_  **   
**_ Now  _ _ I'm _ _  sitting here going half crazy _ **

It’s  like déjà vu  we have found ourselves in the Yale library, me looking at her and her looking back. I know that look  I’ve  seen it many times and it gives me a slight thrill to know it’s  the look of lust. She still wants me,  she’s  always wanted me  it just took me awhile to figure that out. 

I’m  trying to  will  myself to stop looking back at her, but my heart won’t let me miss the chance to look into that beautiful face.  I’ve  tried to believe that I can go back to what we had before we…… I  can’t  even bring myself to think the thought but knowing how I feel and knowing how she feels there is just no way I can be just friends and there is no way I can just walk away. 

_ ' **Cause** _ **_I know she still thinks about me too,_  **   
**_ And there  _ _ ain't _ _  no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you _ **

2 Months Ago

_ I wake and find that she has laid her head on my chest. I gently wrap my arms around her body and close my eyes savoring this moment. I refuse to deal with what  _ _ I’m _ _  feeling. I just try to live in this moment.  _ _ Hillary _ _  starts to  _ _ stir, _ _  and I become sad. I know she will be gone  _ _ soon, _ _  and I  _ _ don’t _ _  want to let her go. Her eyes pop open and she lifts her head off my chest. _

_ “So sorry  _ _ Bill _ _ ”  _ _ t _ _ he crimson blush started to color her cheeks.  _ _ She’s _ _  embarrassed, but she has no reason to be. _

_ “It’s ok” without thinking I lightly run my finger down her cheek. Her breath catches in her throat and she quickly look away from me. _

_ “I need to be going” I don’t stop her this time, I just nod as she scoots out of the bed, holding the sheet to her body. I smile tightly at her sudden modesty. My eyes flutter closed as I recall exploring every inch of her magnificent body the night before. That familiar stirring starts, and I chide myself for even having those thoughts right now or ever. Hillary leaves the room and I sit on the side of my bed. My boxers are on the floor and I pull them on. I am still sitting on the side of the bed when she comes back into the room fully dressed. I can’t help the disappointment that crashes down on me. _

_ “Well I’m going to be going”  _ _ s _ _ he states as she stands in front of me. I nod slowly. _

_ “Do you want to stay for breakfast?”  _ _ I’m _ _  trying to prolong this moment. _

_ “I don’t think that’s  _ _ a good idea _ _ ”  _ _ s _ _ he says shaking her head no. I know that this is her way of protecting her heart.  _

_ “Ok well I’ll walk you to the door”  _ _ s _ _ he steps away from me and walks out of the room. I grab a t-shirt and pull it on before walking behind her into the living room. She stops once she gets to the front door and turns around abruptly. We nearly collide. I can tell she is surprised that I am so close to her. _

_ “Thanks for last night it was grea _ _ t _ _ ”  _ _ s _ _ he states, uncertainty coating her words.  _ _ One-night _ _  stands are obviously not her forte and especially with  _ _ someone she considered, considers her best friend. _

_ “No thank you. The pleasure was all mine” I groan inwardly at the cheesy words that just left my mouth. She gives me a shy smile. _

_ “See you  _ _ in class _ __ _ Bill _ _.” I nod. We stare at each other for another moment neither of us sure what we should do next.  _ _ Hillary _ _  breaks the trance and turns to leave. I reach in front of her to open the door. She turns to me briefly and smiles again before walking through the door and down the steps _ _. _

**_The way it felt, no faking it_  **   
**_ Maybe we were moving just a little too fast. _ **

_ “William it is over and done. Can we just move on?” she was exasperated and I knew that, but no I could not just move on. There was no taking back what happened and how we felt.  _

_ “Hillary why are you so hell bent on pretending like we are just friends? If we were ever just friends, we wouldn’t have made love” he was equally as shocked by his use of that term as she was.  _

_ “It was sex, a good fuck that is all” I flinch at the harshness of her words. Hillary throws her hands up. “Let it go Bill please” she pleads with me and I wish I could but I can’t. There is no turning back time now.  _

**_But what we've done we can't take it back_  **   


When she finally breaks eye contact with me my head drops, my heart breaks once again. I’ve held onto hope but I know that everything we had is done. I’m in love with Hillary, but if I could do it all over again, I’d go a different path. We could have changed the world together, but now all that is done, we are done. 

**_Ain't_ _no telling what we could have been,_  **   
**_Ain't_ _telling what we could've been, oh_  **   
**_And if I knew it would end like this,_  **   
**_I never would have kissed_ _ya_ _,_ _'cause_ _I fell in love with_ _ya_ _,_  **   
**_We never would've kicked it, girl now everything's different_  **   
**_I lost my only lover and my friend that's why I wished we never did it_  **   


I want to tell her so many things and nothing at the same time. How would she react if I told her that I wish we never did anything, that I wish we never loved it and I wish I never fell so deep in love with her because there is no way we can be just friends. 


End file.
